When there are no words, no distinct feelings, no cares, no .....nothing, am I just tired or am I just not living life? Not 'living' as in...I have to have more fun, but 'living' so that I am glorifying God and doing His work here on earth. My roomate has been learning more about herself, and by talking to her I have begun to question my life. Have I become stuck in the rut of routine....exactly what I've been trying to avoid? Have I stopped caring, simply because it's easier and it hurts less?

I'm tired of wanting. I'm fed up with just being here for the sake of being here. I'm a student, and I will be for the next 2 years still.....but I could be more then that.

I don't know what I'm trying to say, and that is part of the problem. I haven't had a clear head for such a long time. It's like its too full and I keep mulling things over and re-thinking, and I'm not even sleeping well these days! I've been here before, but how do I prevent myself from going here again, when I don't know how I got here??

I'm over flowing with ideas and plans and history facts and friendship thoughts. Oh that's just the beginning.

To be more then I am. That's what I want. To be a blessing, to be a better friend, to take the time, to listen more, to draw closer to God, to be content, to be a light, to be brave, to be .....more.

That's part of it.